Battle begins: Networks unveil big guns

Head-to-head: Revenge on Channel Seven; Channel Nine's The Block All-Stars; My Kitchen Rules on Channel Seven. Source: news.com.au

MONDAY night was the first big night of TV for the year, with all of the networks pulling out the big guns and unleashing their ratings winners upon viewers.

Our favourite renovators returned with the premiere of The Block All Stars on Channel Nine.

Channel Seven came out guns blazing with a spicy episode of My Kitchen Rules, followed by the first episode of Season 2 of Revenge.

Over on Channel Ten, MasterChef: The Professionals contestants faced the wrath of Marco and Matt after Sunday night's "reinvention" test.

For those of you who couldn't manage three channels at once, here's what you might have missed:

The Block All Stars (Channel 9):

Dust, despair, repair, Scotty Cam in flannel, blatant product placement... it must be another series of The Block.

Australia's favourite renovating show returned to our screens tonight but this time with some old friends – former contestants Amity and Phil from Season One, Mark and Duncan from Season Three, Josh and Jenna from Season Four and Dan and Dani from Season Five.

All are back to give the title another shot and they have six weeks to renovate a heritage listed house in Sydney's beachside suburb of Tamarama and build a few rooms onto the back "all by themselves".

Yes, the big shock of this series is that the "Blockheads" are totally in charge of the build. But haven't they always been before, you ask?

We thought so too, but apparently not.

The look of shock and horror on the faces of the contestants when they learned of their fate was priceless, especially poor Amity and Phil who quite rightly pointed out that they are the rank outsiders.

"Everyone else has at least one tradesperson and we have us, people who put on concerts for a living," said Amity who has been writing a musical about motherhood since leaving The Block and who will juggle raising children with rendering walls this year.

The smart money is on newlyweds Josh and Jenna who rolled up their sleeves and got their hands dirty straight away, much like young guns Dan and Dani who had similar enthusiasm but who have decided to go it without a builder, a decision that will no doubt prove cataclysmic. Have the All Stars learnt nothing? Always, always, always get professional help.

The worst thing about this series is the format, it's been 10 years since the first series of The Block so we are covering old ground here and let's be honest, if you've seen one renovated marble fireplace you have seen them all.

But the best and most important element of the show is the couples, who are not just familiar faces by now but from what we have seen so far, nice people. It may only be episode one but everyone has been helpful, kind and obliging – even the uber competitive Dan and Dani.

It's too early to say whether The Block will win the tough ratings timeslot but at least it gives viewers who don't care for cordon bleu and croquembouche another option.

So who is your favourite couple and who do you think will win? Tell us in the comments below.

My Kitchen Rules (Channel 7):

It's almost ironic that "karma" is an Indian term but karma is exactly what was served up to Spice Girls Jessie and Biswa on tonight's episode of My Kitchen Rules.

For the girls who promised "three straight 10s", they couldn't have executed a more epic failure if they tried.

Viewers and fellow contestants alike delighted in their demise as their cocky attitude unravelled into a televised cooking cock-up. 

From the moment they offended their guests by they declaring "no more boring dinners", they'd already left a bad taste in their mouths - but no one knew that bad taste would progress to the point of "inedible".

The girls were dealt the blow of one of the worst - if not THE worst - score in MKR history.

After all their criticism, all their snarkiness and promises of grandeur, the girls were given dismal threes by their rivals, with Pete Evans giving one dish a horrifying one point out of ten.

But the contestants were lucky they got any food at all.

Just when viewers started to think one of their tactics was to starve their guests within an inch of their lives so that anything they served up tasted like a gift from the gods, their entree came out two hours after guests had arrived.

Poor old Mick said he almost ate the elephant ornament on the table and "wouldn't have cared if the dog had just eaten out of his meal" he was that deliriously hungry.

Their samosa was given a pass, the pani puri described as "weak" and "below average" by Evans and the disappointing yogurt lassi left guests feeling "queasy".

As they cried into their goat biryani main, it only got worse with Manu declaring the meal "read better on the menu with their fancy Indian words" than it tasted.

The verdict overall was not good.

With more tears, away went Jessie's fake eyelashes and her dreams of impressing anyone at this point.

Despite vowing to pull it together for the best dessert ever, their gulab jamun - consisting of a deep-fried donut ball in a curdled yogurt mess - was described as "foul" "inedible" and "really unpleasant" by everyone at the table.

In the end, the girls gathered their dismal 41 points out 100, slumped into a heap on the floor and felt humiliated that they had let "their whole culture and the whole Indian community down".

"I just wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear", said Biswa.

It will be interesting to see if their attitudes change at the judging table from now on. Perhaps they should make like the real Spice Girls and retire.

Meanwhile, over on MasterChef, there was a lot less drama in the kitchen and food being served a whole lot quicker.

The quick fire challenge gave contestants 30 minutes to cook their dishes in round one, 20 minutes in round two and just ten minutes in round three, all using one core ingredient.

Cassie was the talk of the night with viewers asking, can you serve chocolate with vegetables? Apparently you can.

Revenge (Channel 7):

Where to begin? In the wake of last season's antics in the Hamptons, the first episode of season two rocked viewers with an explosive debut episode filled with more lies and conspiracies.

The first thing we learn is that the increasingly corruptible Daniel Grayson is now dating Ashley Davenport (Victoria's assistant) following his called-off engagement with Emily Thorne - just why he is dating her, we are yet to find out but we're sure the social-climbing Ashley has not exactly fallen head-over-heels.

Fun-loving socialite Charlotte Grayson is stuck in rehab after an attempted suicide last season and it's thought her father, the ever-shifty billionaire CEO Conrad, is keeping her there to control her inheritance.

The faux Amanda Clarke is now heavily pregnant with Jack's baby - or is it? Jack finally tackles the big issue of the baby's father but we're all left wondering.

The two big shockers are that Emily's mother, long-since thought to have died, is suspected to be alive and Emily is on a mission (with the help of her trusty sidekick Nolan) to find her.

Finally, matriarch Victoria Grayson, who we all thought had perished in an airplane crash at the end of season one, is alive and in hiding while the feds build a case against her estranged ex, Conrad.

The end of the opening episode leaves even more unanswered questions than the end of season one as Emily ponders her next move and the stakes are raised even higher.

What did you think of tonight's episode? Leave your comments below.

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